I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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