i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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