i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
