Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
