her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
