Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
