Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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