you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
