I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
