i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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