we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
