I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
