I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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