HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
