I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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