clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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