he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
