This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
