And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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