Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
