i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
When are your genitals available?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
