Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
