So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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