I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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