please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
