You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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