YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I am naked and annoyed.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
