I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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