well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
