his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
