Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
