I showed him my bush... on skype.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.