If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more