Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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