why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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