And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
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so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
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This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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