You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
