I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
