p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
