What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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