i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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