Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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