im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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