1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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