Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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