We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
farters have to be the big spoon...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
