i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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