I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
