I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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