im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
