When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
