so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize