I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
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