I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
God, I missed his penis.
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