Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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