ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I love you.
Bad choice
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
