her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I came so hard my ears popped.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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